Post by sunken on Apr 17, 2005 16:26:31 GMT -5
I am 40 years old and within a couple of weeks time about a month a go after a particular bad cold with lots of intense coughing that I started noticing floaters. One is in my left eye and is a basically a vertical string that takes up about 60% of my viewing area if I'm looking straight ahead. If I move my eye right and left again, I can get rid of it for a few minutes. The other eye has like an oil slick though if I squint, it looks like little bubbles and a DNA chain with other long lines hanging off of it like a jellyfish. But it's mostly transparent. Inside, I only see the one line in my left eye and just barely at that, the right I can only see if I squint really hard. I did go to the doctor and he said they were floaters and there was no need for any treatment, beyond living with them.
But they've practically ruined my life. Last year, I was forced into early retirement due to other health problems. But one thing I loved to do was sit in the yard, watch the family interact with the various squirrels, cats, etc. Watch the birds fly by, basically enjoy nature. As an artist and a photographer, I've always loved to do so. But now all that is ruined it seems, because outside, the floaters are just so apparent that there is very little I can do not see them. I've tried visor type sunglasses which seem to help a little, but they are still there, and my mind knows that and creates a lot of stress around them. Instead of watching birds and relaxing, I find myself thinking about possible scenarios, like retinal detachment, blindness, some other cause that may be unseen. I wonder if any of these things do come to pass, how I'll afford it. I can't afford to run to the doctor everytime I think I might see something more than was there the day before (due to insurance taken away when I couldn't work anymore). How do I know when is the right time to go again? What do these flashes look like? I have noticed when I rub my eyes that I see the outline of my retina (that's what it looks like) light up in the center of my vision (in both eyes). I've also noticed the same thing if I'm holding my eyes shut tightly and move them back and forth to the extreme. I haven't seen them or any light flashes in regular vision though.
I just am so paranoid and stressed over not only the "dirt" in my eyes, but the possibilities and what seems to be another chapter in things I can no longer do. I have even considered suicide as of late. I was already pretty down about not being able to work anymore, that I keep wondering if this is the straw that breaks the camel's back. I keep thinking that I'll forget them in time like some say, but everytime I see one, I just want to stab myself. I know that sounds very melodramatic, but it's the way I feel.
In some ways, reading the stories here have helped, but then there are other posts that seem to elude to the horrible things coming my way for being born myopic. No one in my family has ever had a retinal detachment (though some have had floaters), so I guess that's a good thing, but at this point I'm just not sure.
But they've practically ruined my life. Last year, I was forced into early retirement due to other health problems. But one thing I loved to do was sit in the yard, watch the family interact with the various squirrels, cats, etc. Watch the birds fly by, basically enjoy nature. As an artist and a photographer, I've always loved to do so. But now all that is ruined it seems, because outside, the floaters are just so apparent that there is very little I can do not see them. I've tried visor type sunglasses which seem to help a little, but they are still there, and my mind knows that and creates a lot of stress around them. Instead of watching birds and relaxing, I find myself thinking about possible scenarios, like retinal detachment, blindness, some other cause that may be unseen. I wonder if any of these things do come to pass, how I'll afford it. I can't afford to run to the doctor everytime I think I might see something more than was there the day before (due to insurance taken away when I couldn't work anymore). How do I know when is the right time to go again? What do these flashes look like? I have noticed when I rub my eyes that I see the outline of my retina (that's what it looks like) light up in the center of my vision (in both eyes). I've also noticed the same thing if I'm holding my eyes shut tightly and move them back and forth to the extreme. I haven't seen them or any light flashes in regular vision though.
I just am so paranoid and stressed over not only the "dirt" in my eyes, but the possibilities and what seems to be another chapter in things I can no longer do. I have even considered suicide as of late. I was already pretty down about not being able to work anymore, that I keep wondering if this is the straw that breaks the camel's back. I keep thinking that I'll forget them in time like some say, but everytime I see one, I just want to stab myself. I know that sounds very melodramatic, but it's the way I feel.
In some ways, reading the stories here have helped, but then there are other posts that seem to elude to the horrible things coming my way for being born myopic. No one in my family has ever had a retinal detachment (though some have had floaters), so I guess that's a good thing, but at this point I'm just not sure.